bull’s cafe

hamra, spears street

ordered: two double espressos 

price: 2,000

verdict: 5/5 for what it is

Cale:

Every serveese driver’s favorite people-watching place. A doppio from Bull Cafe makes it worth the walk to Spears to catch the straight-shoot serveese from hamra to downtown. Not only is the espresso cheap and strong, you get to marvel at the collection of framed photos of historic Beirut, from portraits of the Pashas of the Ottomon Empire to photos of Hamra Street in the 1970s (which surprisingly has barely changed at all). Beware of angry serveese drivers who frequent this spot for their early morning shisha and coffee sessions - this group of men who got caught in my photo yelled at me “WE’RE ALL MARRIED WHY ARE YOU TAKING PHOTOS OF US?”

How to assure them that I’m not planning to publish their photos in the latest edition of Serveese Drivers Gone Wild?

Also the way they spell cappuccino is just awesome. 

Tres:

Oh Lebanon, your blatant disregard for copyright infringement never fails to impress me. todays example: bull cafe.but hey who can blame them? this is place is kind of like the ‘96 bulls of the espresso world aka consistently #winning. the michael jordan of this team is definitely the colorful cliental. from the angry service driver who expelled you from his dilapidated mercedes mid route to your local barbar delivery boy, bull cafe never has it all. and besides all the usual suspects the coffee is pretty damn good. don’t sleep on this one. it’s worth a visit at the very least. 

PS: LAKERS FTW

Chef Bilal Attar is the creator of the (in)famous Speakeasy burger and other indulgences. WeEatBeirut sat down with him at the bar and discussed his passions, his aversions, and of course, booze.

How’d you get into food?
 
It was a hobby, it was the first thing I ever did. While I was a child I used to play in the kitchen all the time. I grew up with food and food grew on me. The first word I said was minanu. (What?) McDonalds! Everytime I saw the big M I started jumping. My second word was labneh and my third was mom.
 
When did you start cooking at Speakeasy?
 
Ever since they opened
 
What’s your favorite thing on the menu?
 
That’s a trick question. The menu was made out of my favorites. I’ll say the trio sliders.
 
What’s your favorite thing to cook?
 
Pasta.
 
You cook at a bar. How does alcohol factor into your food?
 
I’m not drunk! Since I’m known for my twisted fusion food, alcohol has contributed a lot. I had mixed and mashed a lot of alcohol into my recipes, so I ended up working in a bar. It was by choice. The alcohol came before I worked in the bar as part of my secret ingredients and hidden flavors.
 
How do you rep your day3a?
 
I don’t have a day3a, I’m from Texas! The heat in the texmex shows up in the food. If you can’t stand it don’t eat it.
 
If you had to pick a meal that embodies your personality what would it be? What is chef on a plate?
 
That’s a trick question. I would say waraq 3aynab (stuffed vine leaves). You spend the whole day making them and rolling them and cooking them with pleasure and you put your heart and soul into them and they grow up. And then each one, when you eat it, everything stops for a second while you chew it and then you have another one and you have another one of those moments. When you see people eat waraq 3aynab they’re humming and that for me is happiness.
 
Thoughts on pork?
 
It makes things yummy if you don’t tell anyone.
 
What will you not eat, ever, under any circumstances?
 
Seafood because I’m allergic to it.
 
How do you like your steak cooked?
 
Well done.
 
Favorite restaurant in Lebanon besides Speaks?
 
If you’ve lost me you’ll find me at McDonalds. I’m addicted to McDonalds, I have to eat it every day.
 
White or brown meat?
 
White.
 
Sauce or no sauce?
 
Sauce.
 
Wet or dry?
 
Wet.
 
Let’s play word association. Tell us the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear:
 
MAYONNAISE: EW.
 
BRATWURST: No comment.
 
TOUM: Can’t have enough of it.
 
ASIAN: Short.
 
AL DENTE: Perfection.
 
What have you got planned for the future?
 
I want to publish my book, Cooking With A Touch of Glam. It’s an upscale cooking book that shows you how to cook with style. You learn how to make fancy meals – or at least meals that look fancy - with simple things. Presentation, presentation, presentation.
 
Second, I want to start doing cooking lessons in Beirut for executive women. Sometimes we have those businessmen traveling and their wives are bored at the hotel all day and so come along learn how to make a meal.

The Speakeasy, Hamra

Ordered: Unique Burger

Price: 22,000 LL

Verdict: 5/5

Cale:

Ladies and gentleman, I have found America in Beirut. No. No. Not America. ‘MERRKA.

This speakeasy burger is 360 grams of pure ohmylawdimightneverrecovermeatybeefygoodness.  The ultimate ‘Merrkan heart attack on a plate. A mammoth boon of unforgivable indulgence. Exactly the way burgers were meant to be. Anything less overwhelming than this beast of a burger is a sorry European excuse for the classic American dish (lets ignore the fact that burgers are from Germany I don’t like to talk about it). Ya that’s right I said it: Brgr Co is for girls.

What really made my day, however, was the collection of dips and sauces The Beast comes with. I happen to despise all condiments, but Chef Bilal Attar makes his own ketchup that doesn’t have that inexplicable diet coke – corn syrupy flavor I detect in packaged ketchups.

Tres:

this is the biggest burger that i have ever eaten in my life. and don’t think that the size is just a novelty…according to the folks at Speaks its patty is made from only 100% USDA grade beef.  my well defined pallet can corroborate this. if the massive burger wasn’t enough for you (aka you have a serious problem) then you’ll be happy to know it comes with an entire plate of cheese fries.i’m not talking about yellow liquid (i’m looking at you and your “nachos” Bricks) spread over something you picked out of a freezer at TSC, i’m talking about real cheese spread over hand cut fries.

don’t fancy cheese? then just go for a dip in any of the home made sauces that come complimentary. the sour cream dip and the ago ketchup were gone within the first five minutes. two dishes of extra jalapenos and mushrooms sealed the deal for me, best burger in beirut thus far. classic, brgr co, burger nation, cow & apple, etc step up your game…

La brioche, Hamra opposite COOP

Ordered: chocolate croissant, chocolate éclair, lemon tarte, ????

Price: 16.000 LL

Verdict: 4/5

Calé:  

Cutesy verging on kitsch hole-in-the-wall French pastry shop in hamra. the la crepier of west Beirut. Scrumptious French pastries that taste way better than they look. La Brioche gets the butterbalance of the choco croissant right by serving up buttery chocolate filling in a non-buttery croissant. get there early for the chocolate éclair, which tends to run out by 2PM.   also the little old lady (aka LOL) who owns this joint is shway mean and won’t humor my overeager attempts to speak arabic.  

Me: badde wa7de éclair blease

LOL: voulez boulez moulez frenchfrenchfrench

Me: ma fii éclair alyoum?

LOL: imbécile américaine frenchfrenchfrench

Me:  E-K-L-A-I-GHHH SEE VU PLAY?

LOL: *glares*

Me: Tres, wtf is going on.

Tres:  

going to francophile places is one of my greatest joys in life…not particularly for the cuisine, but mostly just to hear calé’s attempt to speak french. this is one of those places that you’ve walked by at least 50 times and never really noticed. however, once you do walk in and get over the cheesy interior inspired by the sound of music, you’re in for a treat. la brioche offers very french pastries at very unfrench prices aka it’s delicious and cheap, simple as that. the patisserie offers a wide array of offerings baked fresh daily by previously mentioned “little old lady.” i’m not really a fan of chocolate, but i must say that this place gets it right. perfect balance between flakey goodness and sweet chocolate stuffing.

Albergo Hotel Breakfast

Abdel Wahab al Englizi street, Achrafiya 

Ordered: 1 Lebanese breakfast

Price: 36,000 LL

Verdict: 4.5/5

calé:

Todays breakfast at the albergo hotel - no doubt the best hotel in beirut - was a lesson on how to do bougie things on the (relative) cheap: order 1 albergo Lebanese breakfast; get served enough food to put two foodies in a food coma; give one person the orange juice and the other person the coffee (both included with the breakfast). Enjoy eating in a beautiful if-slightly-uncomfortably-orientalist (its not funny when its true) Francophile -themed breakfast room with one of the most spectacular views of Beirut in town. also the single best plate of restaurant labneh ive ever been served. All for 36,000 LL aka 18,000 LL /person aka pretty much the same price as that horrendous bread republic eggs benedict. Speaking of eggs, id like to send a big shout out to the albergo for remembering that sumac alwaysalwaysalways belongs on middle eastern eggs. 

tres:

save your cash and split the breakfast, like calé already said it’s more than enough food for two. the top floor albergo (restaurant) offers a standard lebanese breakfast with the touch of class and value that you would expect from a 5 star boutique hotel. take in the view and elegant decor as an added value and you have yourself the ultimate saturday morning brunch (i’m still spending my sundays at Casablanca.) I feel I must also take the time to highlight their excellent choice of olive oil…Zejd should be standard table fare at any establishment of this quality. 

a word of warning: if you’re trying to have a “bougie breakfast on the cheap” stay far, far away from ordering any extras. a bottle of water alone will set you back 12,000 LL :/